The Sex Lure, Balancing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries immense significance and repercussions.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be good too).

B.more typically, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other individual may be a match on levels aside from physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), makings the chance to have sex with someone we are drawn in to extremely tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with have a peek at these guys our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , causing effective feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, love, well-being, and closeness .

However when problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is great!" They most likely would i was reading this not confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, states that a number of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in city locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".

However, North adds, "I think this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow with time.

Songs who pursue my site a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with good sense. While great sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, values, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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