The Sex Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these singles, having sex brings enormous significance and repercussions.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be good too).

B.more commonly, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are brought in to very difficult to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are uncontrolled and strong , leading to powerful sensations have a peek at this website of tourist attraction, excitement, nearness, well-being, and love .

When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is fantastic!" They most likely would not confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that much of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in city areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sex. Many gay males wish to learn from the beginning if a potential partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex investigate this site Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with common sense. While good sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices view it now by paying full focus on your vision, goals, worths, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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